Bruder
by Fabulously Distressed
Summary: Germany has come to the realization that he has to move on from WW2... Without his brother.


1962

It has been a year now. The wall is towering over me every day I come across it. Choking me, like hands to my throat. Unable to breathe. Unable to live. Stuck in the past. My punishment. Everyone has forgiven me. Some with a cold face, almost forced looking. Others with tears in their eyes, glad that it was all over. Not everyone believes me. I cannot even believe how I missed it all. How I didn't notice what was happening in the background. He never told me a lot, he was often by himself. Maybe he didn't tell me because he was afraid I would stop the war. Which I would have. Not that it matters anyway. Those people are gone. By my hands. A mark that no one will ever unsee. I'll need to live with my shame for the rest of my life.

I'm sitting in the doorway of the little house I call my own now, the sun shines its rays inside staining the wall a yellow colour. The birds have started to sing again, it's almost serene. I cannot enjoy it though. I don't think I'll ever will again. I hear footsteps behind me now, but I don't bother to turn around to look who it is.

"Mon cher Ludwig... what is on your mind?"

Him.

His smile. His loud voice towering over everyone elses. His charisma that no one can deny. His bordeaux red eyes with the shimmer of a ray of sunlight in them as we walk through the streets of Berlin. Not talking about anything specific, but it's nice.

...

He's dead now. Or at least that's what he told me. He said that Ivan must have killed him, he had nothing left to live for anyway. He has told me to move on, to do something with my life they spared. He would help me become a better person. A better democracy. A better nation.

"You know what's on my mind..."

"Gilbert, non?"

A bird lands a few meters away from me, together with another. They groom themselves briefly before flying off towards the east. I hear a sigh behind me and a few moments later, he sits down across me. I don't bother to look at him. There is not much he can do for me.

"Ludwig, is there anything I can do for you?"

Bring him back. Bring him back to me. I know what I did wasn't right, I know that I deserve to be punished. But I can live through hundreds of years of torture, as long as he's with me. And you took the one thing that kept me alive, the one person that could keep me sane away from me.

"You can't do what I ask of you, so I stopped bothering to ask you Francis..."

I finally look up and I see a damaged pair of blue eyes look back at me. This war took a huge toll on him, and yet he still finds the strength to not only forgive me, but to share my pain. But then again, Gilbert and Francis were closer than they wanted to believe themselves. I refuse to believe that Francis was 100% behind the plan of separating us. I don't think anyone was. But Alfred is in charge now, and I just have to respect my authority from now on until forever. Suddenly, Francis takes my face and it catches me quite off guard. I see straight into his blue eyes and I feel a lump settling in my throat.

"You're hurt mon ami... There is no denying that. But I want you to know, even if you don't believe me, that I'm here if you need someone to talk to. Or to help you with something. Even if you just need a shoulder to cry on, it's okay..."

He lets go of my face now and he gazes towards the sun slowly setting now.

"I know the pain Ludwig... I know the pain after losing a war and the pain of losing everything. But there is one thing that has always kept me going, no matter what..."

He turns back to me now and I feel my tears burning in my eyes.

"My people... Even if you don't believe in a future anymore, there are countless of people that do. That want to make something of this nation. Your people want to learn from their mistakes, they want to do something with this life that has been given to them. So please Ludwig... don't do it for us... Don't do it for the presumable 'winners of this war'... but do it for your people..."

I feel my tears fall now and my chest desperately tries not to sob. I'm pulled in a hug now and I decide to embrace it.

"There are no winners of war Ludwig, there are just survivors. And survivors need to work together. I hope you will work together with us Ludwig..."

"I...I will...try..."

Even though I don't believe things are ever going to get better for me, I hold on to the only thing that I have left in this world: my people. They will guide me through the madness. They will guide me to the future. And if you hit rock bottom, the only way left is up. And that's where I'm trying to go. Hoping deep down in my heart, put away deep enough for no one to see, for no one to judge me on... that he's there too...

Gilbert... hold on... I'm coming...


End file.
